Is there anyone who has been fighting, crying? So sick of trying just to make it through. Can anybody hear what I'm saying? I've tried everything, but the torture won't go away. Looking for a way out, I search high and low. Only finding useless addictions that somehow drag me into more and more agony. I want so badly to give up and leave this hell behind. Will anyone care? Does anyone want to join me?

I wake up each day wondering what is the point of surviving this pain. What is my purpose? Why am I here? All I do is make mistakes and get kicked around. Each time I let someone in past my walls, they only let me down. At night, I rage and scream silently in my sleep. Is there anyone who won't ever leave? I'm so empty, so alone. I want someone to hold me tight and wipe away each tear I cry.

Will anyone be that someone?

Bound by chains, they won't let go. I pull and tug but they just clasp around me tighter. "No more! Please! God, help me!", I plead. He reaches out His hand, but I'm too blind to see. So further into the black I fall. My hope is fading... The chains grab me, strangling my wrists and ankles. My chest hurts and it feels like the air is being sucked from my lungs. My hope is almost gone...

Suddenly, a flash of light fills the cold damp hole I'm laying in. Then as fast as it came, it was gone.

Everything is throbbing and aching... Then it all goes numb. I can no longer feel a thing.

But then! I look up- despite the heavy metal begging me not to- and see a warm light slowly flood around me.

Hope.

The light comes down and wraps itself around my broken and worn body. The weight in my chest gets lighter and I'm able to breathe again. I close my eyes and inhale the soothing atmosphere that is so new but yet comfortable.

"Papa?" I mumble.
"Yes, My precious child?" a gentle but strong voice says.
"Why did you leave me?" I ask, my voice weak and thin.
"I never left you, My wonderful creation. You just couldn't see Me... When you cried yourself to sleep, I sat on your bed. When you made ribbons of red along your arms and legs by slicing your skin, I stood beside you. When you swallowed pill after pill, I was there. When you made yourself sick and spent hours over the toilet, I sat next to you. As you tried to drink away the wrong in your life, I saw you. As you snuck outside and attempted to smoke away your hurt, I came with you. When you looked at pictures you knew you shouldn't, wanting to distract yourself and escape, I was there. As you starved yourself, I was at your side. When you gave yourself into human love, desperately trying to fill the emptiness with something physical, I was by you. And when you tried to end the beautiful life I gave to you, I watched and cried. I love you My child! It hurt Me to see you so hurting!" the loving voice says without accusation.
Tears stream down my face... Can it be true? He's not mad at me? Even after I messed up so badly? "I just want to hold you... Will you let Me?" the caring voice continues.
"I'm scared. What if You hurt me? What if You leave me like the others?" I say bitterly.
"I promise I will never stray from you" He says reassuring.
"Are You angry with me?" I ask, terrified to know the answer.
"I am not angry... Sad you were hurting so badly, but never angry My priceless one..." He says tenderly.
"I don't understand..." I whisper.
"I will never leave you. I will never hurt you. I will never force you to please Me. I will never ask you to do anything that leaves you willing empty or unwanted. I will never tell you that you are worthless, shameful, filthy, stupid, or a waste. Because you are none of those things to Me. In My eyes you are beautiful, wanted, worth it, clean, wonderful, strong, lovely, whole, and created for a magnificent purpose. I love you! I made you! I have so many plans for you! I will use you to help change the world I made! You are needed! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you! I ache to heal your wounds and make them disappear. I love you! Will you let Me make you new? Will you let Me free you?" He asks me.
"Yes... Please hold me and heal me... Please Papa!", I plead.
He comes and puts His arms carefully over my tired shoulders and just hold me, quietly singing, "Priceless, beautiful, worth it, strong. Wanted, wonderful, whole, and loved" over and over. Somehow this Truth was overcoming the loud Lies that wouldn't cease before. The emptiness became filled and no longer was I numb or hurting or hollow. But healed.
"What about these?" I ask, hold up my now weightless chains that however were around me.
"You are free!" He calls.
I look down at my wrists and ankles... The chains had not only come off, but were gone!!
"I am free?", I say puzzled.
"You. Are. Free!" is my reply.
Realization sweeps over my foggy mind. I stand up and it all becomes clear. I was never alone. I am forgiven. I am healed.

And I am FREE!!!

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That's just the way it looks from where I'm standing...

<3 you all! ~ Brownie=)