From Where I'm Standing

It's Christmas Eve and I'm stoked! The tree isn't as packed as usual, the ratio of presents to people is a lot smaller on the presents end BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT MATTERS!! It's been a hard year, and I acually think this is gonna be one of the best Christmases yet. Because Christmas means Cellebration of Christ, not cellebration of Annie or anyone else. Besides, I've already got what I really wanted for Christmas, I just took Davey on a walk and he did fine with no pain meds. NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A MIRACLE. So...I've lost friends this year, I've gained some, I've gotten closer to some. I've been more rebellious this year, I've been more obedient, it's good and bad and all comes out as a wonderful miracle I call life. I mean, there's ups and downs and the year's almost over. I love ending it celebrating the most wonderful miracle of all....

Anyway, here's me looking back on this year....

January- Febuary: Came out of the bedroom looking like a gothic person had just done my make-up, but I was allowed to and that was all that mattered. (Don't worry, I've learned how to NOT smear black all over my eyes....) Grandma fell and had to go to Cherrelyn Nursing Home...Auntie came out to help Mom with G-Ma....

March: My Birthday! And Grandma got to come home from the NH, that was awesome.....for the moment

April: Not Much

May: G-ma fell again, and ended up in a NH for good, just became to hard for us to take care of her anymroe...I went to THE THORN, that made me cry, and laugh...it was awesome...

June-July: HELLO! I'M A WORLD TRAVELER NOW!!!!!!!!! I went to NY, Switzerland, and Germany. Because my Uncle, age 52 FINALLY got married. At first when I met AK I thought it was weird that she was 19 years younger than him...although Uncle Jim acts like a college kid and looks 40...not bad.

August: ALL IN CAMP IN ESTES PARK!!!!!!!!!!!! That was one of the most memorable weeks of my life....

September: School Started, and we joined Co-Op....and I met the most awesome person in the whole world. Then I went to Jesus Culture and....wow, that was amazing...I've been on fire ever since.

October: Ah, not much. Birthdays...me and Hannah had our friendaversary. (It's a joke, ppl, we don't take it seriously, we just like making fun of that whole mindset...)

November: EMILIES BDAY, Thanksgiving...Davey got sick... I finally let my old best friend go, one of the hardest things I've ever done.

December: Stopped hearing from one of my friends. Learning to let go and let God. Davey started getting better....up to NOW CHRISTMAS, ALMOST TIME TO GO TO THE ONE THING CONFRENCE AND SO STOKED TO GET 2009 DONE WITH!!!!!!!!!!

And yes I will be fighting hard in the Nov 2010 elections, making phone calls and rallying and oh such fun.........(These walls that they put up will fall down, it's a Revolution, the time will come for us to finally win....)

We'll Sing Hallelujah.....
We'll Sing Hallelujah....

Davey's doing a lot better now, he can walk around and all the wants to do is go chase birds and coyotes. But he's still on 2 weeks of bed rest...so now he's whining at me cuz he wants to go play with Jonny and Lizzie-Joy outside....he gets nervous when he can't watch them, he thinks that without him they will get eaten by monsterous coyotes and foxes. It's the sheep dog in him....Border Collie's herd, Aussie's heard....we got a hearding dog.....At least it's good he's doing so much better...

~Annie

Last night I read Isaiah 53, which kind of tells why Christmas happened. I've read the passage hundreds of times, but yesterday the worlds came to life as I was reading it, I realized that this prophecy is truly the story of Jesus. WARNING: If you don't have much time or patience in reading, this post is not for you. Seriously, this is like a chapter commentary.

2 For He shall grow up before Him as a tender plant, And as a root out of dry ground. He has no form or comeliness; And when we see Him, There is no beauty that we should desire Him.

So Jesus didn't have a pretty soft face like many paintings say? The truth is that Galileans were not the best looking people, so it's not suprising when Isaiah says that "There is no beauty that we should desire him." Just another proof that we love him because he first loved us, not because he was good looking. It also says that he shall grow up as a root out of dry ground. This is a very impacting statement to me, it's true that in the time of the Roman empire, the Jews felt as if their lives were dry ground. But isn't that also how our hearts are? And then a sprout comes into our hearts....almost magical.

3 He is despised and rejected by men, A Man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. And we hid, as it were, our faces from Him; He was despised, and we did not esteem Him. 4 Surely He has borne our griefs And carried our sorrows; Yet we esteemed Him stricken, Smitten by God, and afflicted.

The Jews expected the Messiah to be a great war king. Certainly no one believed he would be a harmless baby in a barn! But he was a Man of Sorrows. One of my favorite verses is John 11:35 : Jesus Wept. I think this is true. I think like some of us, when Jesus saw a starving child his heart moaned. He wept when Lazarus, his best friend, died. Wept isn't a couple tears falling down your cheek, wept is what we call bawling. I guess it's just kinda cool to see that he wasn't a "Oh Praise the Lord, my life is wonderful" person. He was real, and didn't fake anything, when he smiled you knew his heart was singing, when he wept, you knew he was grieving.

5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The punishment for our peace was upon Him, And by His wounds we are healed.

This says it all. One point though, where most versions say "by his stripes" or "By his wounds" the origional, direct translation says "By his wound we are healed." It is said that he was so terribly whipped, ( the whips back then had glass, hooks, metal, and bone stuck into them so it would rip hunks of flesh out.) His body was literally one solid wound. Think about that for a moment...

6 All we like sheep have gone astray; We have turned, every one, to his own way; And the LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all. 7 He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He opened not His mouth; He was led as a lamb to the slaughter, And as a sheep before its shearers is silent, So He opened not His mouth.

I cry sometimes when I read the beginning of verse 6. Is it not true? I can't count on my fingers the numbers of times I have turned away from God in doubt, anger, or the thought that it'll be easier without rules on my own. This verse makes me feel guilty almost. He opened not his mouth as his beard was ripped from his face, as pieces of skin, at least a half inch deep were ripped out. He didn't say one word, he didn't yell.......he took the pain...and thought of me. and thought of you. So he opened not his mouth,

8 He was taken from prison and from judgment, And who will declare His generation? For He was cut off from the land of the living; For the transgressions of My people He was stricken.

If you come away with one thought, let it be :WHO WILL DECLARE HIS GENERATION??? Many people are like "Yeah! Someone should teach these druggies and sex addicts how to live, they should show those lazy teens how to do it." I don't care if you're deaf, blind, mute, and paralized. You have no excuse for it to not be you.

9 And they made His grave with the wicked— But with the rich at His death, Because He had done no violence, Nor was any deceit in His mouth. 10 Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief. When You make His soul an offering for sin, He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days, And the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in His hand.

Okay, hold one one second...you mean it pleased God to see Jesus put to death? How is that ever pleasing? Because he thought of you. He wanted to be with you forever. And now he saw that the word became flesh. And it was possible...

11 He shall see the labor of His soul, and be satisfied. By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many, For He shall bear their iniquities.

He shall be satisfied. Again. I think after Jesus died God screamed "NOW FINALLY!!! I CAN HAVE A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH ANNIE!!! NOW FINALLY I THEY CAN COME AND BE WITH ME FOREVER!!!" He took joy knowing that now he could be with us forever.

12 Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the great, And He shall divide the spoil with the strong, Because He poured out His soul unto death, And He was numbered with the transgressors, And He bore the sin of many, And made intercession for the transgressors.

I shall devide him a portion with the great. Now. Finally. After all this time.... can't you see??? He did all of this with your face in his mind! He knew the number of hairs on your head before you were even born! HE HAD A PLAN! Jesus wasn't a nice man who happened to get killed out of Roman cruelty. He is Christ the Lord. Why not let him be all you need? I've found that in him there is no rules. You just don't lie because YOU DON'T WANT TO. You don't get high because YOU SEE NO JOY IN THAT!!!!!! And when he fills you up. You are never so full. Believe me, as a former liar, gossip, cutter. It's way better. That's all I can say...

Crucified
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Above all