There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

As most of the world reading this will know, my "family" of 9 (Mama L, Daddy L, Daniel, Olivia, Hannah, James, Abbey, Joshua and Aliison) moved to California, the same town we both moved away from 7 years ago. They were the people I never tired being with, and they claim the same. Their leaving is the hardest thing I have every gone through, their absence is something I have never known. There's a hol inside I have given up trying to fill. For the beginning I tried forgetting all of the memories, numbing the pain, brushing it off with other things. None of it works. I ended up just walking through life feeling like a ghost, everywhere seemed haunted without them. I admit I've become rather pessamistic about life, GOd, friends, schoo, everything. "Why did God do this to me?" I asked for the first week or so, but then decided it was simply life. I couldn't change it. Nothing I did would make them come back. True, but instead of accepting that and learning to become happy, I've been running blindly through life. Given up on just about everything except for music.

It was one of my afternoons after school was done that I was talking to Hannah. She said "I finally know why God had us move to California!
"I've been wondering why the hell that happened," I thought. Instead I replied "Yeah?"
"He told Mom that we're here to recover, there's spiritually something we have to get from being with my aunt and uncle. And that this isn't forever, now is a time for us to recover from all thats happened the past 3 years." I faked being happy for them. I wanted to believe there wasn't anything good that could come from this. Later on I asked God "What about me?? So you have them there to "recover" what an I supposed to do in the meantime?" A voice whispered inside of me. "To Recover." So, God tore my heart to pieces so that it could find its way together again??
"What am I recovering from?"
"Life" he said.
"Your life. For so long you have treated me as something to embrace when life is going good. When something bad happens you are driven away. You are here to learn that everything has a reason, even though you may not see it. You are here in this time to discover who you are, to become the person I have made you."

I remembered Ecclesiastes 3 then,
"A time to weep, and a time to laugh.
A time to re-build...
A time to tear and a time to mend."
A time to dream
A time to shine.

He spoke again

"Think about what has happened in the past 2 months." God recalled to me how I have learned...well, a lot more than can be put into a blog post. but about...

Recovery.
It comes down to something as simple as learning to find happiness in things I would have not thought of before. A lot of dreams I had forgotten in some ways anyways, have been rebirthed inside of me. I've learned about the beauty in hanging up Christmas lights with your siblings, and pretending you're Jason Bourne while jumping around on the roof.

I still miss you, Hannah, and Olivia.

"But let the winds blow, let the winds blow.
Fling wide the door to my heart
Open up the door to my soul
Have your way, Have your way!"

Learning a bit about Recovery...