Ok, so, as everyone has probably gotten from reading anything in this blog yet, I'm a Christain. For some reason, a lot of my Christain friends and aquaintances think that therefore there is a mold that I fit into because I'm a "Christain." Same with being homeschooled. "Oh You're homeschooled? So that means that you're a nerd and you wear skirts, right??" No. And just because I'm a Christain doesn't mean that I'm this hypocratic and judgemental person. I can't say I always haven't been. For 3 long years of my life my family attended a legalistic church. I loved my friends there, but hated the life that the people there tried to make me live. To be honest, because I was a girl, I was supposedly some weakling who needed a strong husband to protect her with a sword and that my destiny was to sweep floors and have kids. Not my dream in life. Yes, I want to get married, and yes I want to have kids. But I believe that God has given me other dreams in life too. For a reason. A couple years ago, if I even mentioned wanting to have a band that wrote *GASP* contemporary music I could've gotten my family excommunicated. So I kept my mouth shut for a couple years. Until we ended up leaving (With a little kick in the rear) because we thought that it was wrong for a group of elders to excommunicate someone for obeying their consience. I'm not mad at any of those people, and I still talk to some of them. Some of them won't even make eye contact with me cause I wear jeans, figure fitting shirts and listen to music that talks about stuff more than God. It still hurts to look into the eyes of someone who used to be your best friend but they walk on by like you're nothing more than the dust on the sidewalk. But, I've been able to go my way.

And I like the free life a whole lot more.

After leaving our former church, I was mad at the elders and I was increadibly mad at God. God had taken away most of my friends. He was a mad God that would send fire from heaven if I didn't wear a skirt to my calf. And if my hair wasn't long enough. If the shirt wasn't loose enough to fit my older brother. My God was a pretty pathetic one. But I realize now, the God I was afraid of is definately not the God that I love with all of my heart now. Not the God who loved me so much that he would die for me. It wasn't the God who did miracles infront of my hand. I had been told, not by my parrents, but by the leaders of the church that God didn't perform miracles anymore. If that's true, I don't know how to explain a lot of things I've seen before. Like when I was dancing and almost broke my ankle. I sat down on the floor right there in the middle of worship and winced. A quiet voice told me "Keep Dancing, Emily. Come and dance with me." So, I limped up and did the most pathetic twirl you've ever seen. It hurt. I tried some moves and thought I was about to faint in pain and then suddenly, as I was dancing, all of the pain left. That wasn't the old God. This was someone completely new. And I love him with all of my heart.

It wasn't till about 1 1/2 years ago that I met this God. And I'm glad I did. I had dark mascera globbed onto my lashes and gray eyeshadow, more out of rebellion against our old church that for the look. It looked awful. I had cut my hair pretty short, cause I knew my old friends wouldn't have liked it. And then I met Jesus. And ever since, I've been living the free life. I'm not mad at my life. (very often =)) I'm not mad at God. I'm not mad at my old church.

I wake up and wash my reasonably long hair and dab a tiny bit of mascera on. (Yeah, I realized I look better with long hair anyway)and go outside with my bible. I like reading my Papa's words outside more. I'm not a perfect student, but I'll tell you what, when you learn to be happy with whatever's going on, you get better grades. =) I'm finally pursuing my dreams and starting a band. (DRUMMER WANTED) I must say that the free life, realizing that we have freedom in Christ, and that all we need to do is love him. (When you love someone you will automatically try to do what's right)

I don't have much but my mp3 player and guitar and a smile on my face from a good God.

And I'm living the good life. The free life

~Annie