From Where I'm Standing

I'm not a huge fan of autumn... Mostly because it's the realization of the fact that summer is over. Gone. For 9 and a half more months. This fall, however, I am trying to stay as positive as possible... I got this. (Till it snows for the first time. Then I'm done.)

Last night, I had the privilege to see remnants of the Dead Sea Scrolls, first printed Bibles, and fractions of the Iliad with two wonderful friends of mine. We marveled over the pieces and listened to a man in a silly hat attempt to make jokes about Christians, Agnostics, and Atheists all at the same time (Skill? More like fail.)

Shortly after this, our real adventure began. A nasty funnel cake that made the non-diabetic feel sick, an adorable old man, and some bragging on Jesus-doings happened while we waited for the Most Awesome Barista to finish cleaning up the castle. We took pictures, Mr. Tumnus hissed at me, and we found a knight in dull armor (My guess is that too many girls hung on his arms, making the armor less than shining. Girls these days...) When the MAB finally finished cleaning the castle, we headed out to the car only to find that MAB and his SB brother had mixed up their car keys, so we had the wrong keys. (Don't ask.) (Unless you're wondering what SB stands for... Which is "sexy beast", of course.) After more picture taking of light posts, silhouettes, and gangsters, we were off! To Taco Bell! And Village Inn! Yeah buddy! While at VI, we got some pretty decent cheese fries and managed to severely irritate our waitress. (Like a boss) At about the same time, we all got a little slap happy (hap slappy?) and I laughed so hard, I almost peed my pants. Thankfully, the bathroom was right next to our booth. Mixture of grossness and a lifesaver right there. We decided to go to Mickey D's and get crappy coffee (Starbucks was already closed) and blared Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You".

On our way home, my two wonderful friends (we had ditched MAB at this point) talked about brokenness, families, healing, Papa's miracles, and promises. Seriously, the best first night of fall I have ever had. Pretty crazy weird but ridiculously wonderful.

These moments, these people, the laughter, and beautiful insanity. THIS is why I can face tomorrow with a smile. This is why I'm keeping my head up. So I can let my hair down and belt out love songs with my buddies as we laugh like seals. Boom.

~ Jayla Moi

"I don't recall a single care. Just greenery and humid air. Then Labor day came and went. And we shed what was left of our summer skin.."- Death Cab For Cutie


Like most teenagers, especially girls, I adore summer. With constant warmth radiating over your skin, laughing into the cool nights with friends, bbq and fresh fruit, staying up until the early morning and sleeping until its after noon... Driving with the windows down as the gentle breeze rushes through your hair. Flip flops, cut off shorts, tank tops, and sunglasses. If you are fortunate enough, there is sand between your toes at some point, as you play in some sort of water. Whether it be the hose in your backyard, a creek, river, lake, or (the best) an ocean. Every now and then, you sometimes experience a "summer love" (Cue Justin Timberlake's song that may or may not have played over 100 times on my ipod in the past 8 weeks...)

This summer was possibly my absolute most favorite summer I've experienced yet. I don't say that because I say every summer is my favorite or because my summer was "perfect". (What does that even mean?) I say that because it wasn't perfect, but my word, was it fantastic...

On May 19th, I graduated from High School (Reason #1) with some of my dearest friends. My family flew out for this special day and we had a good time together, as far as my family goes. The day before my graduation, my best friend/heart twin, left for a mission trip to Mexico, working with deaf kids for 11 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I was stoked for her! This was a dream she has been aching to fill and I knew without a doubt that it was where she was supposed to be. I am human however, and was bummed out she wouldn't be there to celebrate with me. Even more than that, I was sad she wouldn't be there to go through the summer with me.

Fast forward to June (because nothing really happened until then). I worked at a camp nearby called Wings Like Eagles, a horse vaulting program that works with kids of all ages and abilities. Same as last year, I was a vaulting coach, which means I am in charge of teaching 25+ kids how to safely do gymnastics tricks on the back of a moving horse. Unlike last year, the 2 guys that helped me teach (actually, it was more like I helped them. They were beasts.) moved and were unable to help out. Sooo, I basically had to train two 9th grade boys to become coaches AND coach the campers. No pressure. Somehow, I lived through that whole mess and surprisingly had a wonderful time with the campers. At the end of the two weeks, the 9th grade boys were like my brothers. In all honesty, it was pretty fantastic.(Reason #2)

In the midst of sweat, horse muck, child noises, and leadership struggles, I found my summer love... Wow, that sounded even more cheesy than it did in my head. Regardless. (Reason #3) It was more like my love found me during the summer heat. You see, this boy and I met waaaaay back in 10th grade. We were partnered up in Biology (no, not chemistry... Though there was some, if ya know what I mean ;) He has dark brown hair, fair skin, and blue eyes I consistently get lost in. Typical? Not even close. The thing about this boy that is so flippin' attractive is that he truly understands me. In the middle of camp, we went to get coffee and sat at the edge of the lake in our town. I think it was the first time we had ever hung out, just the two of us for an intentionally long amount of time. Levi and I talked for literally 5 hours. (Helloooo summer!) From our favorite books to Disney movies to analyzing characters to guns to graffiti to cooking to places we want to travel. (Told you. Five. Freaking. Hours.) We named a muskrat, "Tony", and counted the cars on the trains passing by as the sun set above the mountains. We flirted (Nothing new. We were kinda flirting buddies before) and joked. The night grew cool and Levi got his jacket from his car for me to wear. (He said he brought it for me because he knows how I'm almost always cold) We lay down on the combination of sand and thin grass and watched the stars... Out of nowhere, Levi began to sing one of my favorite songs, the one that I was singing in my head. (We can read each others minds. NBD) He took me home and walked me to my door. I gave him a hug goodbye and he held me longer than expected. Right as he slowly released me from his arms, he kissed the top of my head, "G'night.." I murmured a goodnight back and went inside. Part of me was like, "Did that really just happen?" And the rest of me was like, "It didn't mean anything, you're just his buddy." Turns out I wasn't just his buddy because the beautiful blue eyed wonderful kid kissed me while we were watching a movie at my house a few days later. My exact thought when that happened? "Oh my word. Levi actually finally kissed me. ME!!" Wanna know what he said? "I know. I actually finally kissed you." (See? Its like we have the same brain or something) (Also... Reason #4)

A lot of wonderful things happened over the summer, things that are too deep and too serious for this silly boy-raving post. (Reason #5-9)

I won't prattle on further about this guy and his eyes but I will say that its been difficult to accept the fact that this was really just a "summer love". I would have been totally okay with it becoming a real relationship, but the timing just isn't right. So I shed my summer skin, try not to cling to August, and embrace the fantastic reality that he is still my best friend. Because even after we decided "we" wouldn't work at the moment, he is still my best friend. (Reason #10)

I couldn't ask for a better best friend.


~ Kayla Joi

I see you joking, hoping no one can tell how you're hiding behind that smile I know so well. Take a step back. Get another perspective. You might see things a little bit different. People these days get too obsessive with the assessment of themselves through the eyes of those around them. The mayhem begins when fear and pride come, walking side by side, and invite themselves in. Then you contemplate, formulate ideas that aid the hate. This hate is an attack on your slate. Trying to create marks forming you into a work made of lies and pain. They tell you you're not worth it, drawing light to your past mistakes. "This is proof! You'll never be desired that way." These lies have a volume, going up and down. But the 'off switch' button can't be found. During the day, through the night. They become your companion, they won't leave your side. At times you doubt them and start to appeal for Truth. Deep inside, you know they're lies. So you decide to stand up and fight. The battle is difficult and draining. You find yourself desperately seeking for a way out. You just want to run. Keep in mind this battle has already been won. You aren't sure of it, this victory. Yet its just around the bend. You wait and see. Its hard to take comfort in the unknown. Especially when you feel like you're alone. Trust is hard, I understand. But fall into His arms if you can. And remember He knows, He has an Ultimate Plan. Your entire life, it lies in His hands.

In honor of the amazing time we had at Jesus Culture, Colorado Springs on Saturday Night. :)

Its the end of Easter weekend... I spent Sorrowful Friday with my sisters as we knelt before the foot of the cross together, weeping. A few different things became more clear to me that evening. The heart of the disciples during that day and the next day was what hit me the hardest. Having your dearest friend brutally abused, beaten, stabbed, ripped, torn, and very broken right before your eyes... Seeing Him take His last breath. Repeating His words in your head over and over, trying to make sense of them... Jesus' buddies didn't know He was going to come back to life a few days later. To them, He was gone.


Last night, I found out a wonderful young man that helped a lot with my youth group died in a rock climbing accident. I didn't know him very well... We had only talked a few times. Yet I always enjoyed just being around him and watching him interact with others. His smile lit up the whole room. He accepted everyone, regardless of where they've been. He was crazy about life... Wore rolled up jeans, flannels, a knit beanie over his dreaded dark blonde hair, and tried not to wear shoes as much as possible. Such a hippie.. He had this excited look in his eyes, making you want to know of all the adventures he had been on. He seemed to genuinely love those around him, even if he didn't know them that well.

This morning I woke up and instead of rejoicing at remembrance of Christ's Resurrection, I felt so heavy. For a few minutes, I couldn't figure out why. Then I recalled last night. I lay in bed for another half an hour, just thinking.

"How could he be gone?"

Part of me feels selfish for grieving his death, simply because I wasn't close to him. So who am I to be able to grieve the loss of him?

The rest of me is in shock... Only a few weeks ago, I passed him in the hall and said, "Hey!" thinking he had a great smile. I will never see his smile again. How simple smiles are... But the impact they have... It blows my mind.


Where ever you are in life, whoever you are around... Smile. You don't know how much longer you have here on earth to do that simple action. You don't know who is watching you, thinking, "That person has a great smile." You don't know who needs a gentle touch of warmth that you can give by smiling. What I do know is that our time here is so terribly short. Savor each moment, live intentionally, create memories, love deeply, and remember that every breath is a second chance.

"Hold onto the small things and make them worth fighting for"

"In My Arms" by Plumb

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

As most of the world reading this will know, my "family" of 9 (Mama L, Daddy L, Daniel, Olivia, Hannah, James, Abbey, Joshua and Aliison) moved to California, the same town we both moved away from 7 years ago. They were the people I never tired being with, and they claim the same. Their leaving is the hardest thing I have every gone through, their absence is something I have never known. There's a hol inside I have given up trying to fill. For the beginning I tried forgetting all of the memories, numbing the pain, brushing it off with other things. None of it works. I ended up just walking through life feeling like a ghost, everywhere seemed haunted without them. I admit I've become rather pessamistic about life, GOd, friends, schoo, everything. "Why did God do this to me?" I asked for the first week or so, but then decided it was simply life. I couldn't change it. Nothing I did would make them come back. True, but instead of accepting that and learning to become happy, I've been running blindly through life. Given up on just about everything except for music.

It was one of my afternoons after school was done that I was talking to Hannah. She said "I finally know why God had us move to California!
"I've been wondering why the hell that happened," I thought. Instead I replied "Yeah?"
"He told Mom that we're here to recover, there's spiritually something we have to get from being with my aunt and uncle. And that this isn't forever, now is a time for us to recover from all thats happened the past 3 years." I faked being happy for them. I wanted to believe there wasn't anything good that could come from this. Later on I asked God "What about me?? So you have them there to "recover" what an I supposed to do in the meantime?" A voice whispered inside of me. "To Recover." So, God tore my heart to pieces so that it could find its way together again??
"What am I recovering from?"
"Life" he said.
"Your life. For so long you have treated me as something to embrace when life is going good. When something bad happens you are driven away. You are here to learn that everything has a reason, even though you may not see it. You are here in this time to discover who you are, to become the person I have made you."

I remembered Ecclesiastes 3 then,
"A time to weep, and a time to laugh.
A time to re-build...
A time to tear and a time to mend."
A time to dream
A time to shine.

He spoke again

"Think about what has happened in the past 2 months." God recalled to me how I have learned...well, a lot more than can be put into a blog post. but about...

Recovery.
It comes down to something as simple as learning to find happiness in things I would have not thought of before. A lot of dreams I had forgotten in some ways anyways, have been rebirthed inside of me. I've learned about the beauty in hanging up Christmas lights with your siblings, and pretending you're Jason Bourne while jumping around on the roof.

I still miss you, Hannah, and Olivia.

"But let the winds blow, let the winds blow.
Fling wide the door to my heart
Open up the door to my soul
Have your way, Have your way!"

Learning a bit about Recovery...

I Came to Love You Late
O Beauty so ancient and new
I came to love You late
You were within me and I was outside
where I rushed about wildly searching for You
like some monster loose in Your beautiful world
You were with me but I was not with You
You called me
You shouted to me
You wrapped me in Your Splendor
You broke past my deafness
You bathed me in Your Light
You sent my blindness reeling
You gave out such a delightful fragrance
and I drew it in and came breathing hard after You
I tasted, and it made me hunger and thirst
You touched me
and I burned to know Your Peace"

~St. Augustine of Hippo

Its beginning to look a lot like winter!! Well, it was, until all the snow went away, and is gonna come back tomorrow, and then melt on Saturday, etc etc etc. I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned this, but the weather here are like a PMSing teenage girls emotions, roller coaster, etc. It was really cold and cloudy today, but no snow…sometimes you wish It’d just snow so at least there’d be some reward (Sledding, snowball fights, etc) to the coldness.

Other than that, life is going pretty good. I mean, ever since my “family” of 9 moved, I feel pretty bored 80% of the time. Busy, but not EXCITED about life. Its kind of sad, but I know that this is just a season of well, loneliness in all honesty. I know that God is breaking past that’s going through, and turning this cold time of my life into a beautiful ice sculpture. It just takes a long time, long days of waiting.

I have been growing a LOT closer to my brother, however, and that has definitely been a plus! He really is incredible, and with my weekends not as busy of living at the Luman’s house, I have been able to spend a lot of time goofing around with him. I don’t know a lot of people, anyone really, who are as close as we are. We listen to Harry Potter on audio on car rides, go on walks after the rain, joke about things we used to do in California, make carmel corn and eat it while watching Perry Mason, etc. We had a blast at the Air Force Academy football game, and at Target shopping. Its nice having a brother you can have fun doing just about any random thing with, from watching James Bond to playing baseball in the backyard with your younger siblings.

Today was rather successful feeling, however you want to word that, go ahead, I don’t care. Church was good, refreshing. I have been feeling pretty awesome now that I’m pretty much off of sugar and dairy…I don’t get migranes or feel light headed, so I’m doing pretty awesome.  I was able to get some legit skinny jeans that don’t make me look like an idiot, and an aviator leather jacket at Target. AND (Theres more!!!) I started knitting again, I haven’t in 4 years. I am knitting (Drum roll, please) MULTICOLORED LEGWARMERS!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, thank you for the applause. Yes, I do realize how dorky they are, and YES, I still will make them and proudly wear them on cold winter nights. And as the rest of the state shivers uncontrollably, I will be nice and toasty wearing my pink-white-blue-purple, etc, knee high leg warmers. Now I’m gonna go laugh at myself for the 100th time.

Ok, so moving on…
Somehow I have this feeling that I should get my rear off the computer and finish my History reading that is supposed to be finished tomorrow morning…AND get some sleep for the next 5 days of school. :P

So, I’m trying to think what this post was about: Oh, its cold: problem. Dorky Legwarmers: Solution. Brothers=Awesome. Skinny Jeans=Awesome. Not dying from allergies=Awesome. And God will use my shadows to prove the sunshine!

So there it is 

~Annie

“Sunshine, won't you be my mother
Sunshine, come and help me sing
My heart is darker than these oceans
My heart is frozen underneath

We are crooked souls trying to stay up straight,
Dry eyes in the pouring rain
The shadow proves the sunshine
The shadow proves the sunshine

Two scared little runaways
Hold fast to the break of day light were
The shadow proves the sunshine”

Well, I guess inside I always knew that nothing stays the same.
But I hoped that it would...I just never really imagined all of this would happen. On Sunday morning, my best friends, Hannah and Olivia moved. We only had less than 2 weeks notice. Their dad's been out of work for awhile, they visited some friends out of state and he ended up getting a job offer. None of them wanted to go, but they had to. Well, we didn't have much time to say goodbye. No last chance fun expeditions like we were hoping. Saturday evening I had to say goodbye before going to work.
We bawled all over each other.
Its never easy to say goodbye.

“Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos.”

So, the summer days quickly slip away, and school will be starting for me on August 23rd. It seems like this summer has passed so quickly. I feel alright about "life" starting up again. Some sort of weird nostalgic feeling. This summer will be labeled as one of the best of my life so far. I thank God for my eyesight, to watch it all happen. So I can see the flowers I'm planting with my little sister, and the stars bud in the night sky. So I can play baseball with my brothers, and so other many things that I would have taken for granted if I hadn't almost lost my eyesight 7 years ago. Lets just say that a music stand with sharp edges can do a lot to ones eyes. But I guess God decided my "ocean eyes" were meant to see. I was 1 centimeter from probable blindness. I have two scars, small but real to show for it. Not that many people notice them, but I do every day. And say "Thanks God. I like seing this world."

I like watching the seasons change.
I like watching summer stars.
Summer is Beautiful.

So don't take the things in life for granted.
They might not be there someday.

--Thats just the way it looks From Where I'm Standing

~Annie

Three Days Later
FM Static


I made a wish on a shooting star once
but it's been so long
never did believe it
till you showed up there and proved me wrong
everyone is here and they're all cheering
with the end of another day
it's Friday night, everyone's asleep
and now we're walking home
our shadows grow underneath the streetlights
still, they're overgrown
a perfect end to a perfect night
and I feel so alright

[Chorus]
One, she makes me feel not-
Two, much like anything, that's-
Three, times more than I've ever felt before, and it's-
One a.m. and I'm-
Two sucked in, 'cuz it's-
Three, days later, I can't stop thinking about you

call lots of friends
and lets go down to the beach
bring your stereo
and all your favorite cds
we'll bring all out guitars
sit on top of our cars
and sing the night away just like rock stars
it's wide open, everyone scoping
hoping to have a night
where nothing gets broken
I will be leaving you tonight
oh I'll be leaving you tonight

[Chorus]

Woah, oh, oh, oh

[Chorus x2]

Sometimes I bang my head against for believing in someone. That they would be with me forever, that they even cared. Several of times I have been left with a broken heart because I believed in someone. But my question is this: Is holding onto someone that you know isn't worth it, or will let go, worth it. I remember loving someone that all my friends groaned and told me he was a player. And I knew they were right. But somehow, with the knowledge that I would regret it, I loved him anyway. That was awhile ago, but I remember it like yesterday. I remember one of my friends saying that maybe it was brave. She reminded me of my belief that love is fearless. So I jumped. It was really fun to fly for a moment. But I did fall.

Sometimes I think holding onto someone that used to care is hardest. Hmm…think of a name…Jessie. There. Jessie and I met when we were 9 years old. We took ballet classes together, went to the same church, and liked all the same things. (Mainly cats cradle, crocheting, and picking flowers.) Jessie and I did so many things together that it would take several books to write down all the memories. We called each other's parents "Mama, and Daddy" and to this day if I was at her house I could remember where they keep the allergy medicine and just about anything in the kitchen. I know a lot about her. Who she was, anyway. Soon after she turned 14 we stopped talking much, I came to see her shows sometimes, she always forgot mine. Jessie started going to a private school and I saw her about twice a year. Jessie has said some pretty cutting things about me and our other friends from when we were younger. The "Friends Forever" frame we had at her house has someone else's picture in it, and when I look back, I can't really remember why. I just wasn't very cool anymore. But I kept telling myself someday I would hear the phone ring and it would say her name like it used to about 10x a week. Until last August when I finally let her go somehow. She was already gone.

But, I guess, my point is that I can look back at some of these things with bittersweet nostalgia. I guess it's just nice to know that I was happy for awhile. I'm happy now, and I know it'll go up and down and up and down.

But maybe it's supposed to be that way.
You love, hurt, and learn….

That's just the way it looks From Where I'm Standing.

~Annie

Does anybody see the tears that won't stop falling?

I heard this song last August when I went to their concert in Denver. The CD comes out on the 11th! This was one of my favorite songs they played at their concert. I recorded it on my camera! :) ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!

This is a poem written by one of my beautiful, wonderful friends =)

What is {perfect}
What can perfect mean
How can perfect make me be
More than I’ll ever be able to reach

What is {perfect}
A cloud of dust
Gritty sandstorms screaming wind
Can’t see past the storm I’m in
To find what has to be {perfect}

Where is {perfect}
Things always changing
You stay the same no one’s remaining
Say goodbye to {perfect} again

{Perfect} promises invisible treasures
Somewhere over the rainbow
Find {perfect} waiting just for you
With bony fingers grasping for your sanity

Give {perfect} all you have
Yes give her all your love your passion
Your days your nights your legs that dance
The sound of music in your ears
She'd rather dance a silent invisible march

Give {perfect} the nights you felt so warm
Give her your lips and hands
She'll sell them for a higher cause
Eternity promises to trade your best for {perfect}

What is {perfect}
Is {perfect} happy
Is {perfect} sad
Can {perfect} ever give enough
Is perfect loud announced arrival
Or secrets silent hidden dreams

Smaller thighs
Smaller waist
Is this really all that {perfect} takes
Smaller voice
Smaller grace
What humanity demands while {perfect} waits

What is {perfect}
When your collarbones define your saving grace
When numbers are the rhythm of a larger melody
What doesn’t exist is more important than the things that do

How is {perfect}
The angel of the broken
The saint of those unspoken
Hiding all your insecurities perfectly

I want {perfect}
Making me empty clean
Washing the stain of breath away
Drowning the red in a sea of Perfect white

You need {perfect}
To hold you down
Make you stable in a filthy ocean of doubt
To justify the sacrifices you make for {perfect}

{Perfect} wants you
Trade your freedom
Sell your soul
Mark your body not your own

Watch as {perfect}
Steals your happiness
Mutes your laugh
Numbs your arms that used to hold

{Perfect} is a race to the death
Fighting your best friends
Whoever loses the most will win the best
Jealousy: the label of {perfect}

{Perfect} means standing tall as you crumble
{Perfect} means a whitewashed grave
{Perfect} is a downhill tumble faster, faster give yourself away
All you have to give for {perfect}
Is everything you loved

What isn’t {perfect}
Is what I want to be
Traitorous desires not the perfection
Sold to me by my best enemies
Secret wishes keep them whispers

{Perfect} wants to own my hands
Guard my heart freezing cold
Perfect means never enough
Can I be {perfect} anymore?
I can't be {perfect} anymore.

Copyright Lost in the Crowd 2009

Ahh!! Beautiful! Today its 70 degrees...wonderful wonderful wonderful! Then I stepped oustide and BAM got blown by a gust of wind. Wind and clouds like to ruin my beuaitul warm weather. Especaially clouds, they like to crash my tanning parties. But today, despite the wind we all went to the park and had a picnic. I had fun playing with my siblings...and I realized, they all have my mom's beautiful olive skin. I was "Blessed" with my Dad's pink skin. Thats more like white. And burns so it's red. Oh joy. Even my little brother has tan skin, and WHITE hair. No fair!!! Although now he's trying to sing "All Around me" and it sounds like a cow with its foot stuck in the mud and blowing a whistle. Great joy. Soon I shall leave for rehersal and direct...directing is funnish...its fun when the people cooperate! Who knows, maybe if I give them another "AT THIS RATE WE'LL BE FINISHED IN SEPTEMBER, PEOPLE!!!" talk it'll sink in somewhat. Somwhat, that's my prayer... Acting is my main joy, though, I can do that anytime, I act for a living. I think just about everyone acts for a living. You pretend you're happy, although thanks to a certain person I'm genuinely happy and can't stop smiling...you pretend to be mad to make people feel sorry for you, admit it, we pretend a lot! But I like REAL acting, performing of just about any kind. I feel so alive...spotlights and microphones have some sort of magical effect on me. Singing, Guitar, Piano, Acting, Dancing, its my joy.

So...if you go look up lost in the crowd on facebook and become a fan I will love you forever. Wait, LIKE lost in the crowd, stupid people on facebook made it so you can't become a fan of anything anymore, you only like them, what the heck. Anyway, until later.

~Annie <3

RAIN
Roller Coasters
Beaches
Olive Garden Bread Sticks
Raw Cookie Dough
The Weekend
Colorado
VitaminWater
Those long perfect hugs when you really need one
The hugs when you get picked up in the air
The hugs when the person you're hugging smells really good
Ok, just hugs in general
Coffee
Futons
Frozen Yogurt
Running through sprinklers
How shopping at Costco makes you feel like a chef for the Royal Navy
Driving in the Summer with the windows down and the music up!
Chickfila
Converse
Flipping over the pillow to get the cold side
Sleeping while hugging the pillow
Sleep
Sour Gummy Worms
Bare feet
Tanning
Firelight
Hot Showers
DORY!
California Sunshine
Beaches
Little Sisters


and here's some other things that I can relate to...

I SWEAR the referee is going for the other team!

Oh thats a tan? I thought you got attacked by orange markers!

I hate it when I wake up after spending the night at someone elses's house and you
have to wait forever for them to wake up! (Unless its at some certain people's houses, I just go eat breakfast and play with their baby sister =))

Frozen Computer...maybe if I click EVERYWHERE it will work again!

I love your accent, it's awesome! Say more words!!

The awkward moment when you get the lyrics wrong to a song

When I turn off my lights, I make a 5 foot leap into my bed

My earphones must be untangled before I can listen to music

Panicking when your finger gets stuck in something stupid

I could NEVER date someone if they couldn't make me laugh

If duct tape, tylenol and bandaids can't help, you have a serious problem!

You're 6 years old! why do you have a cell phone??

I'd rather carry 10 grocery bags in one hand than make a second trip

Hearing "Just a small town girl" and shouting "Living in a lonely world!"

Procastinators Unite!!! Tomorrow...

I can't just hit the crosswalk button once, I need to hit it like, A THOSAND TIMES!

Seaweed touched my foot, might as well be a great white shark!

Sometimes I feel like randomly lying on the floor

I don't care if I look stupid! At least I'm having FUN! Unlike you!

I want to re-live that day/night

I HATE "Battery Low"

Ok, If we get caught, here's the story....

"You look tired" "Thanks for politely saying I look like crap!"

If Walt Disney watched the Disney channel right now, he would cry!

I have always wanted to get in a cab and say "Follow that Car!"

I'm Not Flirting! IT's called BEING NICE!

"That little spider is more scared than you are!" "Oh did it tell you that??"

I love it when you leave your hoodie at my house and I sleep in it cause it smells just like you

When the teacher says both of our names and we are totally busted cause we weren't paying attention to a single thing she said, who would when you can just smile into each other's eyes??

Sitting out on the grass, you holding me, looking at pictures in the stars, life just got better for a little while...

We talked about old times, I smiled cause you remembered

Oh you hate me? That's funny cause I never did anything to you but be born

I miss you. The old you. The new you sucks






So, hopefully you have actually gotten some of these, and I didn't waste TOO much of your time =)

But this is just all the little things in life

From Where I'm Standing,

Annie

Ok, so, as everyone has probably gotten from reading anything in this blog yet, I'm a Christain. For some reason, a lot of my Christain friends and aquaintances think that therefore there is a mold that I fit into because I'm a "Christain." Same with being homeschooled. "Oh You're homeschooled? So that means that you're a nerd and you wear skirts, right??" No. And just because I'm a Christain doesn't mean that I'm this hypocratic and judgemental person. I can't say I always haven't been. For 3 long years of my life my family attended a legalistic church. I loved my friends there, but hated the life that the people there tried to make me live. To be honest, because I was a girl, I was supposedly some weakling who needed a strong husband to protect her with a sword and that my destiny was to sweep floors and have kids. Not my dream in life. Yes, I want to get married, and yes I want to have kids. But I believe that God has given me other dreams in life too. For a reason. A couple years ago, if I even mentioned wanting to have a band that wrote *GASP* contemporary music I could've gotten my family excommunicated. So I kept my mouth shut for a couple years. Until we ended up leaving (With a little kick in the rear) because we thought that it was wrong for a group of elders to excommunicate someone for obeying their consience. I'm not mad at any of those people, and I still talk to some of them. Some of them won't even make eye contact with me cause I wear jeans, figure fitting shirts and listen to music that talks about stuff more than God. It still hurts to look into the eyes of someone who used to be your best friend but they walk on by like you're nothing more than the dust on the sidewalk. But, I've been able to go my way.

And I like the free life a whole lot more.

After leaving our former church, I was mad at the elders and I was increadibly mad at God. God had taken away most of my friends. He was a mad God that would send fire from heaven if I didn't wear a skirt to my calf. And if my hair wasn't long enough. If the shirt wasn't loose enough to fit my older brother. My God was a pretty pathetic one. But I realize now, the God I was afraid of is definately not the God that I love with all of my heart now. Not the God who loved me so much that he would die for me. It wasn't the God who did miracles infront of my hand. I had been told, not by my parrents, but by the leaders of the church that God didn't perform miracles anymore. If that's true, I don't know how to explain a lot of things I've seen before. Like when I was dancing and almost broke my ankle. I sat down on the floor right there in the middle of worship and winced. A quiet voice told me "Keep Dancing, Emily. Come and dance with me." So, I limped up and did the most pathetic twirl you've ever seen. It hurt. I tried some moves and thought I was about to faint in pain and then suddenly, as I was dancing, all of the pain left. That wasn't the old God. This was someone completely new. And I love him with all of my heart.

It wasn't till about 1 1/2 years ago that I met this God. And I'm glad I did. I had dark mascera globbed onto my lashes and gray eyeshadow, more out of rebellion against our old church that for the look. It looked awful. I had cut my hair pretty short, cause I knew my old friends wouldn't have liked it. And then I met Jesus. And ever since, I've been living the free life. I'm not mad at my life. (very often =)) I'm not mad at God. I'm not mad at my old church.

I wake up and wash my reasonably long hair and dab a tiny bit of mascera on. (Yeah, I realized I look better with long hair anyway)and go outside with my bible. I like reading my Papa's words outside more. I'm not a perfect student, but I'll tell you what, when you learn to be happy with whatever's going on, you get better grades. =) I'm finally pursuing my dreams and starting a band. (DRUMMER WANTED) I must say that the free life, realizing that we have freedom in Christ, and that all we need to do is love him. (When you love someone you will automatically try to do what's right)

I don't have much but my mp3 player and guitar and a smile on my face from a good God.

And I'm living the good life. The free life

~Annie

Perfect
By Annie <3

"This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe." (Romans 3: 22a)


"We all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God." You can't be in Church for more than a week without having learned that verse. It is very true that every person on the face of the earth has sinned and is therefore damned to hell. But so often, we don't really see how God worked the whole thing out, do we?

God created mankind perfectly. Then we screwed up, ate the apple we weren't supposed to and here we are, imperfect and in any way incapable of ever having complete fellowship with God again. Furthermore, when we die we are sent to hell, we all know the story because it is jammed in our faces from the moment we go to Sunday school. Now, this story is true and I believe it with all of my heart. Most people know the end of the story also, God sent his son, his son died, and if we believe Jesus died for our sin, we can go to heaven.

Hold on a moment, people. Do you hear what you just read??? GOD SO LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED the world. He so loved them. It wasn't pity, it wasn't just the kind of love that you feel for your brother, God deeply loved us. And when you love someone as much as God loves us, you will DO ANYTHING to be with them. But, we couldn't be with God anymore. Because we brought sin into this world. But the amazing thing, is that our God is in love with us. So he did the unthinkable. God became a man. He wasn't just God in a man's body, GOD WAS A MAN. This man's name was Jesus. We can't exactly wrap our minds around it, but God was a man. And the man was God. He was 100% God. And 100% man. He went through wanting to curse and lie just as much as we do. But he didn't. And then, he died. He didn't just die because people didn't like him. He died because it was God's plan. God didn't want to die. In Luke 22:42 it records how Jesus said "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." So he did the unthinkable. He took what we deserved. And he gave us what he deserved. This is my key point right here, and yes, it's taken a long time for me to get to it. Jesus not only took what we deserve, but he GAVE us WHAT HE DESERVED. What all did Jesus have? First of all, he was God's son. So now, if we believe in him and not just believe in him, but have faith like a child in his unfailing love and that OH MY GOSH HE LOVED ME SO MUCH THAT HE DIED FOR ME!!!!!!!! He gives us the righteousness that the verse talks about, BTW. this is the definition of

Righteous: or according with, that which is right; yielding to all their due; just; equitable; especially, free from wrong, guilt, or sin; holy; as, a righteous man or act; a righteous retribution. [1913 Webster]

Some synonyms for Righteous: Blameless, Commendable, worthy, innocent, you get the point….


Often, we just say the prayer "Jesus come into my life…." and don't realize what you are saying. You are wanting the man that died, but then WAS RAISED FROM THE DEAD do come into your life? You want the man who walked on water to come into your life? Do you want the man who with one wish light came rushing out of his mouth and BANG There it was? Do you want the man who healed the sick and raised people from the dead do come into your life? If you said "Annie, come into my life." That would make you instantly want to do what I do. Wanting to think the way that I think. Wanting to feel what I feel. Now, that would be kind of scary if the entire world wanted to play guitar and piano until your fingers fall off and sing until your voice goes out and you can't talk, and drink vanilla coffee and paint their toe tails 10 different colors. But what I mean, is that when you're saying "Jesus come into my life." it is saying that you want to think the way that he does, and feel how he feels, and do what he does. Do you want to be like the man who raised people from the dead and caused the lame the walk, the blind to see? Do you want to be like him? That's only part of the package, by the way, not only are you, with Gods help, given the power to pray for someone who was deaf and they can hear, you can also go to PARADISE when you die. For eternity. Eternity in paradise is pretty awesome. And, somehow, after awhile, you won't want all of the crap in the world. No, you just want to spend time with Jesus, and you want to go set the world on fire just the way that his love has set your heart on fire. You want them all to be perfect. Now, I'm not saying that once you receive this incredible gift you are never tempted, and you never do anything wrong. But when you do, all you have to do is truly want forgiveness, and want to be different and…God takes your report card full of "F's" and he gives you his "A+"

And you are perfect.

At least, if God really meant what he said. =) If you still don't completely get what I am saying on how God died so that we can be perfect, sorry….I tend to confuse people, but I hope you understand…somewhat, a little…maybe

As always,
That's just the way it looks from where I'm standing,
Annie the Righteous